A Problem Not Cured
by luckycharm944
Summary: James has something about him that Lily tries to unsuccessfully fix. Fluffy one-shot :)


**This was written for the Fanfiction Tournaments Competition run by Fire The Canon and I used the prompt 'Saliva'.**

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James had a spitting problem.

She didn't want to admit it but it was true. Lily couldn't recall exactly when it had began but it was around the time that she started to talk to James more frequently and he would just get so excited when he was talking to her that he would spray little bits of foam over her face. It was as if he thought that he would never be able to talk to her again and so he had to talk a million miles per minutes.

At first, she ignored it. After all, it happened to everyone once in a while and to point it out would just make James embarrassed and the rest of their conversation awkward. But she just couldn't ignore it after finding a tiny morsel of soggy, chewed-up treacle tart on the side of her face after dinner one day as the result of talking with James the whole meal. Merlin knows that she had *ahem* casually ran away from him on more than a few occasions to not feel the spit on his worse days.

She tried speaking to him about his problem. But he would make up excuses to not have the conversation. She tried avoiding him. But he sought her out every time, and besides, life without a James was boring.

She decided to use a potion to cure James of his spit talking. She brew it herself in Slughorn's classroom under the pretense of practicing for an early acceptance to an advanced Potions lab outside of Hogwarts. The potion (if it was successful) was supposed to give the drinker a sense of calmness for a few ours. Hopefully, the calming would take away-or at least reduce-the spit talking.

Lily slipped it into his orange juice at breakfast the next morning but after finishing the task, she found Sirius looking over at her with a questioning look and a head jerk motioning to James's drink. She mouthed, 'I'll tell you later,' and thankfully he didn't stop James from taking a sip out of his glass.

Sirius stood up abruptly, making the dark-headed girl next to him drop her pudding in surprise. "Evans?" he said. "My...book is..I need you to..Oh, to hell with it. Just come with me." With nothing more than a few curious stares, the pair got up from their table and made their way to the entrance of the Great Hall.

"What did you slip him?" he demanded as soon as we were out of sight of anyone.

"I just gave him a little calming potion that'll last a few hours so that he'll stop showering spittle on my face," she replied calmly.

"What? James doesn't spit talk." he defended.

"Yeah, he does." After continuing to explain, Sirius finally stopped badgering Lily about unknowingly-to James-giving him a potion.

* * *

To Lily's delight, the potion did work and do its intended job. On the other hand, James looked like he was high. He was talking like a hippie, his face didn't show any big emotions, his walking was agonizingly slow, and his tone was measured, even, and drawled.

He was talking to Remus and had his body sprawled on top of the couch in the Gryffindor common room. "Remus, mate," he was saying. "You should chill out from all those books you read. They'll give a headache. Take a break; just hang out and have a pie. Raspberry, preferably."

"James," Lily interrupted. "Do you feel okay?" His eyelids were drooping.

"Yeah, I'm great. Maybe a little tired." He let out a big yawn. "Or maybe a lot."

"Maybe you should go to bed early."

"Bed? That sounds great." James yawned again and started walking upstairs to the Head dorms.

* * *

"What have you done to him, Lily?"

"What do you mean?"

"Look at him!" They both stared at a big lump covered by multiple blankets, sleeping on his bed.

"I don't see the problem."

"You don't see the PROBLEM? The _problem _is that he's been sleeping non-stop for 10 hours and it's 6 o'clock on a Sunday!" Sirius yelled.

"He's just tired, that's all."

_15 minutes later..._

"Evans?" his voice sounded panicked.

"Yes?"

"I don't think James is breathing."

"**What?**" Lily's head shot up so fast, she could have sworn that she heard a whip crack at the same time. She ran over to James quickly and Sirius started shouting at her.

"You drugged him so you could get rid of him!" Sirius accused, bellowing. "You killed James!"

"Be quiet, you big idiot!" she yelled at him back and jumped a foot in the air when she moved her ear close to James's mouth to try to hear breathing and he started snoring loudly.

Lily glared at Sirius. "He's breathing, you bugger! Don't scare me like that!"

"Well, you deserved it." Sirius glared back. "When is he going to wake up, anyways? I'm bored and it's only going to be the weekend for a few more hours."

At his words, James stirred in his sleep and mumbled. "What?" Sirius yelled at him instead and he moved closer.

"Lily," James rasped out.

"What about the devil, Prongs? Are you having a dream about her?" Lily was surprised that James still wasn't waking with Sirius screaming in his ear.

"Lily..." he repeated himself and licked his lips in his sleep. "Please, please, _please _let me take you on a date." Sirius had on a look of disgust as James accented each 'p' and spit on his best friends' face.

"Eww," Sirius groaned. "Alright, I'm waking him up."

He shook James until he awoke, and immediately sat on James' stomach. As revenge for the spitting, Lily guessed. "Hey, guys," James said. "I'm hungry."

Sirius motioned for Lily to come closer and after a moment of hesitation, she did. "Lily, d'you want to come get some food with me?" asked James.

With a smirk on his face, Sirius said, "Let's go play a game of quidditch before curfew instead."

"Yeah. Let's play!" James responded eagerly and without knowing, sent a wad of spit flying in Lily's direction. She winced as the saliva hit her cheek and slid down.

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